


I Can Kiss You If You Want

by PJO_Connoisseur



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex has the braincell, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJO_Connoisseur/pseuds/PJO_Connoisseur
Summary: In which Reggie is insecure about never having been kissed and Luke is there to help.
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 51
Kudos: 501
Collections: Julie and the Phantoms





	I Can Kiss You If You Want

“I’m going to die alone.” Reggie said it like it was a fact. He was laying on his bed with his eyes on the white ceiling.

Luke, sitting on a stool a few feet away with his guitar, stopped strumming. “You’re sixteen, Reg. I think it’s a bit early to be saying that.”

“It’s true,” Reggie said. “You know how I know?” He sat up, his back to the baseboard.

“You don’t know, but I feel like you’re going to tell me anyway,” Luke said. He put away his guitar, full attention on Reggie.

“Because I’m sixteen and I haven’t had my first kiss,” he said. “And if I do get a date, which I won’t, but even if I did, they’re going to think it’s weird and not want to kiss me either. Or they’ll kiss me and I won’t know what I’m doing and they’ll think it’s weird that I’m sixteen and don’t know what I’m doing. Either way it’s going to be really embarrassing and I’m going to die alone.”

Normally Luke found Reggie’s bizarre thought processes funny, but now he just felt bad that Reggie would think something like that. “Lots of people haven’t kissed anyone by sixteen. It’s not that big of a deal,” Luke said in an attempt to reassure his friend without invalidating his feelings.

Reggie was unswayed. “Easy for you to say. You’ve kissed half a dozen girls already.”

_Only to distract myself from you._ Luke balled up that thought, clogging his throat in his attempt to swallow it. “That makes me even more knowledgeable,” he said, walking over to the bed and sitting beside Reggie. “I’ve kissed my fair share of girls and I still wouldn’t think anything of it if one had never kissed anyone.”

“It’s different with girls,” Reggie said, shrinking into himself. “Guys think it’s cute when girls are inexperienced or easily flustered. Guys are supposed to be all macho and smooth and stuff, and I’m not like that.”

Luke’s chest ached. Reggie’s openness and sentimentality were some of Luke’s favorite things about him. “Guys are supposed to be however they want to be. You’re sweet and earnest and that’s way better than macho and smooth any day.” He paused as Reggie turned pink. “And for the record, I wouldn’t think anything of it if a guy I liked was a kiss virgin, either.”

Reggie looked at him, eyes widening as realization dawned. “You…”

Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah.” He bit his lip. “I, uh, I noticed you used ‘they’ to talk about the person you’d hypothetically be kissing. Like...gender neutral.”

Reggie’s head was hanging and he was fiddling with the sleeve of his flannel, like he always did when he was nervous or stressed. “Yeah,” he said, and that was all he needed to say.

All at once the room felt smaller.

Even in a sleeveless shirt Luke was burning up from the emotional pressure he was under. He’d been crushing on his bandmate for months without saying anything and had been able to push it down because he thought Reggie was straight. Now the opportunity was right in front of him. He could just _tell_ him. If he didn’t he’d never be able to move on. He opened his mouth with the intention to confess, but what actually came out was, “I can kiss you if you want.”

Reggie’s head whipped to stare at him, eyes bigger than Luke had ever seen them, and Luke was certain he’d screwed up.

“Just so you know you wouldn’t get laughed at or anything. Just to get it over with when it’s low-stakes.” Luke’s words tumbled out of him and made a mess, his heart hammering painfully in his chest. All his confidence had been zapped out of him.

Reggie’s fingers curled into the blanket beneath them as he turned his head away, the corners of his mouth down-turned. “Low-stakes,” he repeated under his breath.

“It was just an offer,” Luke said, put out. “Sorry, it was weird, right?”

“N-no, I just—” Reggie cut off, shaking his head. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Luke said, tilting his head.

“Okay,” Reggie repeated, sneaking a glance at him. “To the offer. If that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, internally cursing how breathless he sounded. This is _so_ not how Luke had imagined a kiss with Reggie going, and he had definitely imagined it before. One part of him was freaking out, both excited and terrified at the prospect. The other part was regretful of his offer, hurt by the idea of kissing him when it meant something to Luke but not to Reggie. Normally his brain kept up with his mouth and his poor decisions were intentional; with Reggie his brain short-circuited and his mouth ran the show. And now his mouth would be running the show in an entirely different way. Oh _god_.

“Um, you don’t have to go through with it,” Reggie said, yanking Luke out of his mental tangent. He refused to meet Luke’s eyes for more than a split second at a time.

“What?” Luke said.

“You look like you want to throw up,” Reggie said, and although he laughed, Reggie had never been good at hiding his emotions. He was obviously hurt, and _shit_ , Luke made him feel like _he_ was the problem.

“That’s not it,” Luke said. “Am I not allowed to be nervous about kissing a cute guy?” That was probably as close to a confession as Luke was going to get today.

Reggie blinked several times in rapid successions, flustered in that way that made Luke’s heart melt. “But…”

Luke leaned in, hoping Reggie couldn’t tell how forced his self-assurance was. “But what?”

Reggie swallowed loudly enough for Luke to hear it. “But I’m just…me.”

Luke chuckled. “Exactly. Super cute. Inside and out.” Maybe he was being a bit too honest, but when Reggie was down on himself, Luke couldn’t help it. Reggie deserved to know how incredible he was. Luke had always known red was Reggie’s color, but when it looked best when it was decorating his cheeks.

Reggie’s lips were parted, his breathing shallow. He glanced at Luke’s lips as if he couldn’t control it, his blush only increasing after doing so.

Luke curled a hand around the back of Reggie’s neck. “This okay?” He licked his lips, drawing Reggie’s attention back to them again.

Reggie gave a curt nod. To Luke’s surprise, he leaned in, one soft hand finding Luke’s cheek, and kissed him.

With the people Luke had kissed in the past, Luke had been trying to get over Reggie, which made projecting courage effortless. He always initiated. Now a guy he was head over heels for was the one making the first move and it took a few seconds for his brain to catch up. When the reality clicked, he began moving his lips along with Reggie’s.

Reggie’s lips were chapped, perhaps the only part of him besides his signature outfit with any edge. His kissing switched between too light and too rough, like he was hindered by nerves then overcompensated. The cycle was a mark of inexperience, but Luke didn’t mind in the least. He allowed Reggie to lead and find his footing, and sure enough, eventually Reggie settled into a consistent pressure that left Luke’s stomach fluttering.

The kiss was over all too soon, and when Reggie pulled back, Luke mustered all his self-control not to follow his lips. Even so, he was too thrilled to be embarrassed over how hard he was breathing. Reggie had the biggest, dorkiest grin on his face that Luke had ever seen, and that just made Luke want to kiss him more.

And that’s when he remembered.

Luke wouldn’t be kissing Reggie again, because Reggie only kissed him to get the experience. This wasn’t about Luke—Luke just happened to be the person who offered. The butterflies in his stomach turned to stone and dropped.

Reggie’s smile faded and fear took over. “What’s wrong?” He was playing with his flannel again. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No, of course not,” Luke said with an averted gaze. “I just remembered I was supposed to do a thing with my parents. I gotta go.” He stood.

“Luke—”

With all the thoughts swirling around in Luke’s head, he didn’t realize until that night that he left his guitar behind.

* * *

Reggie couldn’t sleep. He was stuck on that afternoon, the scene between him and Luke playing on loop like a scratched CD. Rarely had he ever seen Luke lose his suave nature, and when he did, he had usually just fought with his parents. Never before had it been about _Reggie_. He wasn’t certain what he did to make Luke practically run away, but he had several ideas, each worse than the last.

Maybe Luke had only offered out of pity and was banking on Reggie turning him down.

Maybe Reggie was the worst kisser to ever exist.

Maybe Reggie’s kiss had given away his crush.

Maybe Luke was disgusted with him.

Maybe Luke didn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Every possibility added to the lump in his throat as he forced back tears. He was _not_ going to cry over Luke again. He’d already done it every time he’d watched Luke kissing other people, and he was tired of having his heart broken over and over. If Luke didn’t like him like that, then fine, Reggie understood. But Luke had offered to kiss him and called him cute and kissed him back, and then he _ran_. What was Reggie supposed to do with that other than assume the worst?

If Luke not only forgetting his guitar but either not noticing or actively deciding not to come back for it was any indication, Reggie was totally screwed.

Reggie had a dreamless, fitful sleep, and Luke was the first thing on his mind when he woke up. Although they had band practice that day, Luke never showed up to get his guitar, so Reggie begrudgingly brought it to the studio, where his bass and Alex’s drums already were. Like always, he was the first one there, but he couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop his mind from racing, couldn’t imagine facing Luke after yesterday. So he left.

Like many times before, Reggie found himself walking along the beach. His parents sure did fight about money a lot for people who made enough of it to afford a house on the beach in LA. Despite being close to home, the beach was a safe spot away from all of that. He never thought he’d use it to avoid one of his best friends.

Even in October the LA temperature was high, filling the beach with swimmers. Here Reggie stuck out like a sore thumb in his leather jacket and ripped jeans among swimming trunks and bikinis, but he was used to it. Sometimes he felt that way in the band, too, like he didn’t quite fit and everyone could tell. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been walking for before he was interrupted.

“Hey.”

Reggie froze. He should have known he’d be found at his usual spot, but he was disappointed anyway. Or maybe wasn’t disappointed because he was found, but because of who found him. He turned toward the voice.

Alex stood before him with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. “Are you okay?”

Reggie had expected Alex to be mad at him for skipping practice, but now he felt silly for thinking as much. Of course Alex would be concerned instead of angry. That was just how he was, caring and perceptive. “No,” he said, and as soon as the admission was out, all the misery came along with it. He walked up to Alex, dropping his head against his friend’s shoulder.

Alex guided him to a bench and wrapped an arm around him. “The rest of us tried practicing without you. Luke didn’t hit a single note. Why do I get the feeling that’s related to this?”

Reggie hid his face in his hands. “He hates me.”

“He really doesn’t,” Alex said. “He’s acting like a kid who accidentally let go of his helium balloon, not like one who got their balloon popped.”

Reggie almost laughed.

Alex squeezed his shoulders. “Come on, Reginald. What happened?”

Reggie’s response was an incoherent mess. Upon further prompting, he said, “I was complaining about never having been kissed and, uh, he offered to be my first. So we did, and then he ran away.”

Alex was incredulous. “Ran away?”

Reggie nodded. “Just about, yeah. I’ve only seen him move that fast toward food.” The thought of Luke zooming into a buffet made him smile for half a second.

“That...doesn’t make sense,” Alex said.

Reggie raised his head, frowning at his friend. “Makes sense to me.”

“No, he—” Alex cut himself off, eyebrows furrowing. “God he’s an idiot.”

“I actually think this is one of his better decisions,” Reggie said. “Unless you meant his decision to kiss me in the first place. Then yeah.” Before Alex could respond, Reggie switched gears. “Wait, why aren’t you surprised about any of this?”

Alex snorted. “Reggie, I don’t think you’ll be surprised to learn you’re not subtle with your feelings.” Reggie flushed. “But neither is Luke. I’ve been _waiting_ for this. It just, uh, isn’t really going as expected.”

“Or maybe Luke just isn’t as much of an open book as you think,” Reggie said. “He _ran away_ from me, Alex, when the whole thing was _his_ idea! Who _does_ that?”

“An idiot,” Alex said. He sighed. “Look, I think you should talk to him. He’s back at the studio. Bobby went home, so he’s all yours.”

“I think I’ve already endured enough humiliation to last a lifetime,” Reggie said.

Alex withdrew his arm, an unimpressed look on his face. “Careful, if you get any more dramatic you’ll start sounding like him.” He nudged Reggie’s shoulder. “We both know you two need to clear the air. It can happen now or it can happen later, but it _will_ happen.”

“Stop that.”

“What?”

“Using logic,” Reggie pouted. 

Alex rolled his eyes, standing. “Come on, Romeo. Your Juliet awaits.”

“More like I’m the little mermaid and his rejection will kill me,” Reggie said.

“Remind me to keep you away from Hans Christian Andersen,” Alex said, taking his hand and gently tugging him along back to the studio. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the mermaid turned into an air spirit or something at the end, so that’s not really dead.”

Reggie gave him a look. “Like us coming back as ghosts isn’t really dead?”

Alex smiled “Point taken.”

“Maybe _I_ should keep _you_ away from Hans Christian Anderson if you’re going to dunk on my metaphors.”

“I don’t read Hans Christian Anderson, you’re the one who told me about it,” Alex said.

“Oh,” Reggie murmured. “I didn’t think you were actually listening.”

Alex stopped in his tracks, his hold on Reggie stopping him in turn. “Why would you think that?” 

Reggie shrugged, eyes on his sneakers. “I don’t know. I ramble a lot. I just assumed you guys tune me out sometimes.”

“That’s not true, Reggie,” Alex said. “None of us do that. No, not even Luke, because I know you’re thinking it. He could listen to you ramble for hours.”

“Really?” Reggie said, lifting his head.

“Really,” Alex said. “If you don’t believe me, you can ask him.”

It was then that Reggie realized they’d reached the studio, but before he could react, Alex was opening the door, shoving Reggie inside, and shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Luke was laying on the couch in the studio, staring at the ceiling and regretting every life decision that brought him here. The only time Reggie ever skipped practice was when Luke, Alex, and Bobby physically forced him to because he was sick. For him to skip willingly, he must absolutely hate Luke’s guts right now. Wait, no, scratch that. Knowing Reggie, he was probably hating _himself_ right now, which was infinitely worse, which meant _Luke_ was the worst.

Luke had known better than to kiss him. Reggie had just wanted no-strings-attached experience, and Luke had complicated it with all his stupid feelings, feelings that could not have been more obvious when he made a paper thin excuse and ran out. And now because Reggie was a saint, he was probably feeling guilty and trying to think of a way to let Luke down gently. _God_ he’d screwed up.

Luke was so deep in his emotional spiral that he didn’t notice Alex was gone until there was a flash of pink at the door as Reggie came stumbling inside. The door shut behind him, and as Luke bolted upright, they locked eyes, Reggie looking like a deer in headlights.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie blurted.

Luke blinked at him, Reggie’s statement lodging in his brain to make the gears stop turning. “What...do you mean?”

Reggie turned his face away. “For whichever part of yesterday made you upset.”

_Shit_. Luke was right. He’d made Reggie blame himself for Luke’s emotional incompetence. “Reggie, no,” Luke said, standing and walking toward him. Slowly, because he knew doing anything too suddenly would make Reggie panic.

Reggie took a step back. “You don’t have to try to make me feel better,” he insisted. “Really, Luke, it’s okay.”

Luke maintained the distance Reggie was comfortable at. “That’s not what I’m doing,” he said. “You don’t get it.”

Reggie laughed without humor. “I don’t get a lot of things, but I think I got this one. It was a pity kiss and you regretted it. It’s okay.”

“No, Reg, it’s not, because you don’t _get it_ ,” Luke said. His arms hung heavy at his sides, wanting to approach and reach out but resisting. Physical comfort was a constant between them and it felt wrong to not be able to comfort him now. “I was being a coward.”

Reggie’s look of shame was transitioning to confusion. He took a hesitant step closer. “Because you weren’t willing to turn me down?”

“No,” Luke said. “Because I wasn’t willing to tell you that I—” He crossed his arms, heat flooding his face. “That I really like you, Reg. That I didn’t want to kiss you just to give you the experience. And then I remembered that that was all it was to you and I just…” He shook his head, arms dropping again, his entire body weighed down with defeat. “It hurt too much.”

Reggie was looking at Luke like he just said he could cook Michelin star-level meals. Still, Luke couldn’t make himself regret saying it. At least now that the bandage was off he could begin healing. Which was a terrible metaphor, but Reggie was the reader, not him.

Reggie took another step toward Luke, reducing the distance to a couple feet. “You...like...me?” He pointed to himself, which was adorable, and the only thing stopping Luke from laughing was the knowledge that doing so would make Reggie think he was making fun of him. He only teased him because he was so cute all the damn time.

“Yeah.” Luke kicked the ground. “All those girls I went on dates with...there was a reason none of them ever became my girlfriend. I was trying to get over you and I couldn’t.”

Reggie stuck out his lip, subtle enough that Luke doubted he knew he was doing it. “I like you, too. Why were you trying to get over me when you never even asked me out?”

Luke’s chest swelled. “I didn’t think I stood a chance. You’re so…” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s like you wake up every morning and _decide_ it’s going to be a good day, even when everyone else is telling you it won’t be.”

Reggie was bright pink. “But you’re _you_. All teenage heartthrob and lyrics that connect with people and sleeveless shirts and...and being able to have anyone.”

“No one can have anyone,” Luke said, halving the distance between them. “And we both know you see through all that, anyway. Except maybe the sleeveless shirts. I think you like those.” He winked in spite of himself, proud of how Reggie’s blush deepened.

“Yeah,” Reggie said. He cleared his throat. “T-to the seeing through you thing. Not the shirt thing. Well, the shirt thing, too. I mean—” He shook his head. “I mean you’re right that that’s not why I like you. I like that you have drive.”

“I like that you’re unapologetically yourself,” Luke said.

“I like that you’re brave.”

“I like that you’re compassionate.”

With each response they came closer to each other, continuing until there were only a couple inches between them.

Reggie bit his lip. “I like how soft your lips are.” His audible struggle to flirt made it all the more endearing.

Luke brushed back some of Reggie’s hair, using the movement as an opportunity to cup his cheek. His lips hovered by Reggie’s ear. “I like making you blush.”

Reggie had a determined look in his eye that sent a shiver down Luke’s spine. “Then kiss me.”

Luke was not used to this assertiveness, but he was into it. His free hand cupped the other side of Reggie’s face, drawing him into a kiss that right from the start felt different than the last. Reggie’s hesitation from yesterday was gone, replaced with an intensity Luke was unaccustomed to from him. Reggie guided Luke back toward the couch with several short, hard kisses, settling into an urgent pace once they were sitting. Without thinking, Luke’s hands dropped to the sides of Reggie’s flannel, using the leverage to lead him onto his lap, Reggie straddling him.’

Luke broke the kiss, voice deep as he asked, “This okay?”

Reggie grinned and nodded, pushing his flannel off his shoulders to leave his black tank top. Reggie wasn’t as fit as Luke, but he was toned, and Luke liked that more. Luke trailed his fingers down Reggie’s arms, taking a second to process the new position, which existed outside of his imagination for the first time.

Reggie laughed, light and jovial. “See anything you like?” His eyes were glimmering.

Luke took one of Reggie’s hands, kissing his palm before letting his eyes lazily travel over the boy on his lap. “Maybe.”

Reggie pouted and poked him in the stomach.

Luke chuckled. “Of course I do, Reg. It’s _you_.” He couldn’t contain the reverence with which he said it, and Reggie noticed, his gaze softening.

Reggie pressed a long, soft kiss to Luke’s lips, then gently sucked under his ear, then down his neck, giggling against Luke’s skin every time he sharply inhaled or, to his infinite embarrassment, moaned.

“Someone’s gotten more confident,” Luke said.

Reggie pulled back. “You’re my best friend. It’s easy with you when I know where I stand.”

“Your best friend, huh?” Luke said, intertwining their fingers. “Not your boyfriend?”

Reggie squeezed his hand. “Do you want to be?” The doubt was back on his face.

Luke gave him a chaste kiss. “Of course I do.” 

The doubt washed away again, leaving giddiness in its wake. Reggie slid off Luke’s lap, Luke’s arm coming around his shoulders as Reggie snuggled into him. Reggie took Luke’s free hand, kissing the back of it. “Then boyfriends.” He laughed. “I guess Alex was right.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “Right about what?”

Reggie recounted the conversation from the beach.

“What would we do without Alex?” Luke said.

“Die, probably,” Alex said, entering the studio as if on cue. He smiled when he saw them curled up together. “I take it you two figured it out?” Both boys beamed, and Alex rolled his eyes with a fond smile. “I’m not going to be a third wheel now, am I?”

Reggie frowned and lifted his free arm, Alex joining the cuddle cluster. Alex pointed to a novel on the coffee table. “How’s the book?” he asked Reggie.

Reggie launched straight into an explanation of his current reading, going on tangents about characters, symbolism, and theme. Alex went home for dinner before he was done, but Luke had Reggie place his head in his lap so he could play with his hair while he talked. That was another thing Alex was right about: Luke could listen to Reggie ramble for hours. With Reggie Luke could do just about anything.


End file.
